【The heartfelt story】To relinquish for love

Little May was sleeping peacefully in her adoptive mother’s arm waiting for the birth mother to come. The birth mother was late. The social worker had her gut feeling that the birth mother would not come to this meeting although she promised.

The social worker recalled her first time meeting Little May’s birth mother who was sitting on the office couch and sobbing.

“I did not do it on purpose. I just wanted to get some sleep. The baby would not stop crying. I did not know how to comfort her. I did not know she would sleep that long. I just gave her very small piece of sleeping pill” Little May’s birth mother said. “Can you please take Little May away from me? I am not a good mother. I can’t do it anymore.”

The social worker managed to get more background story of Little May’ birth mother and realized that she came from a half-dysfunctional family. She tried to help her mother after graduating from junior high school as her father was not employed with some drinking as well as gambling problems. She started to work at a night club. Before she got a chance to tell her mother that she was pregnant, she found out that her mother died of heart failure. She then on her own managed to get through her pregnancy as she felt the baby was her only family left in this world.

The birth mother fell so attached to the baby when Little May was born. The birth mother and Little May had a peaceful couple of months by living on government subsidy. But soon after, the reality hit. The birth mother had to work to support herself and Little May. After two weeks without sleep, she then gave Little May some sleeping pill so then the government interviewed. The adoption social worker got pulled in to provide assistance. The whole adoption process then began.

The birth mother had been feeling guilty for what she did although she was very happy for Little May to be with a forever loving family. During this period of time, the birth mother had not found her courage to visit Little May. For this goodbye meeting, she probably also chose to give her blessing to Little May from distance.

The social worker continually shared how well Little May was doing with the birth mother and hoped one day she would find her way to forgive herself and to find courage to live with her loss.