【Parent-child relationship】How do you know I love you?


“Baby, do you know mommy loves you?”Mommy curiously asked 3-year-old Ethan.
“Yes!” Ethan replied with a smile.
“So, how you do know mommy loves you?” Mommy felt satisfied with Ethan’s first answer so continued to ask.
“When I am behaved.” Ethan answered.
“Ethan, I want you to know no matter whether you are behaved or not, mommy loves you. When you are behaved, mommy is happy. When you are not behaved, mommy looks unhappy. But I always love you. Do you understand?” Ethan’s mommy seriously said.
Ethan listened attentively feeling confused look because his mommy suddenly became so serious. However, as soon as he heard mommy said “love him”, he felt relieved and said “Ah”. He then ran away to play.

“Love unconditionally” is a job easier to say but difficult to do. Children since very young age learn to define their own value and interpret interpersonal relationship, the society and the world through their parents’ facial expressions as well as responses. Even though sometimes, the adults just fulfill their desire to be a good parent, children with their limited cognitive ability as well as maturity easily make direct connections between “behavior and achievement” and “self-worthy and worth to be loved”.
Love is not “I love you because you meet my expectations”. Love is “I love you no matter whether you meet my expectations”. In other words, it is to love as who that person is.
So check it out to see whether your loved ones are on the same page as you do. 

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