【Adopt for love】I am a mother, no need for other label

Recently, one of Sandra Bullock’s FB page has been circulated worldwide, especially among adoptive parents. 

She started the article by stating: “I’m tired of hearing from everyone that he is not my child, that he is not my blood, that I am a so called ‘Adoptive Mother’. I am a Mother. I need no other label or prefix”. My instant reaction to that was “YES”!

I have been working in adoption field for over 10 years and heard a lot of stories. I remember one adoptive mother got pregnant unexpectedly when she was in the process adopting her child. Fortunately, the government and the agencies allowed the adoption to proceed. I could not forget her “horrified” facial expression just by thinking about the possibility that she would not have her adopted child. 

She continued saying to me that she felt so blessed that her family completed with the children she loved so much. Unfortunately, not everyone can appreciate adopted children as much as she can. One day, she was in the playground with her children. One woman after seeing the baby said to her: “Oh~ how lucky you are to finally have your own child”. She got so furious and replied: “They are all MY CHILDREN”. The similar situation recently happened to other adoptive family I know. 

I do believe that people need to be educated. So I love what Sandra Bullock said: “He may not have my eyes, he may not have my smile, he may not have my skin tone, but he has all my heart…A mother is a person who raises, loves and provides for the child. It doesn’t matter if you share the same blood or not”.

I think the same words can apply to lots of adopted children who are loved and adored much by their adoptive parents. I only can say “lots” because I know in reality not all the adopted children are loved by their adoptive parents. Some of you may not be able to meet your birth family and may not know whom you have the smile from. But remember you have a mother/ father who appreciate you making her/ him life complete. 

Parenthood is full with joy and challenge, with or without other label or prefix.